August 2009
3 posts
July 2009
5 posts
memories... →
Watchyes please
you're a grand ole flag...
tomorrow is the 4th of july. i am going camping. in the backyard of a suspected haunted mansion on “mystery point.” if i come back alive i’ll talk about it. if only some of us come back alive i might talk about it. if i dont come back alive, safe to say i wont be talking about it - although i could blog from the grave. aaaaanyways, cheers to pbr, hot dogs, pie and king george as...
June 2009
8 posts
images from tim burton's version of alice in... →
make dorf pretty
a year ago, somebody (lets call her tracy shortneck) was supposed to revamp the look of my fair blog. she never did. as a result, i just cant seem to write anything of interest on here. its just do darn ugly my eyes hurt. please tracy, hear my call for help now:
tracy help!
xoxo,
dorf
Watch
Watchthis is my new favorite show. its hard for me to say this, but…i cannot wait for the fall! (although i suppose id rather have a summer than watch a tv show, but i did have to think about that tradeoff pretty darn hard).
fyi: the show is GLEE, airing on FOX in the fall…
apparently our ecosystem is unaware that i am sleeping at 3am. otherwise, wtf would there be the loudest storm of my life crashing and bashing me out of my sweet sweet dreams? mother nature, you win again…
i want it now →
curbed just posted this peak into the apthorp apartments. i used to dream about huge loft spaces in greenpoint. now i want this. all of this. now.
seriously folks, could you imagine living here? as john puts it: “one of these things is not like the other” would be my everyday life. for those of you out of the know, he’s implying that i am not a massively wealthy celebrity, wasp,...
May 2009
1 post
hi again →
last night something of immeasurable importance dawned on me: i haven’t blogged in ages! after researching the matter, it’s seemingly been precisely 120 days since my last post. the horror! while I could revive dorf with a post on how/why I’ve been able to neglect my online self for months (a little late?), why not link all two of you to my fave blog around. it’s always inspiring and...
January 2009
3 posts
i’m digging this song right now.
...
December 2008
1 post
November 2008
9 posts
david hasselhoff has a karaoke machine in his... →
i would have killed myself before dieting in 1974. →
puppy porn →
have you ever wondered what your (or a stranger’s) puppy does when nobody is watching? that’s the premise of this AWESOME website - except, instead of “nobody” watching, its more like thousands who log on to spy on puppies running around and redefining “adorable.” WATCH THESE PUPPIES!!
*note: this is not pornography. we don’t get our joys from watching...
hannah's dirty confession: she needs jizzum to...
hannah: i love you big boy
hannah: mmm you are so big
hannah: i want you inside me
hannah: and on my face
hannah: i wish you would jizz in a bucket
hannah: many times
hannah: in many buckets
hannah: just keep filling buckets with jizz
hannah: and than you can hang them on a ceiling
hannah: and we can play techno music
hannah: you
hannah: your jizz
hannah: with strobe lights
hannah: from the ceiling
hannah: like Blade2
hannah: but instead of blood
hannah: jizzum
hannah: man
hannah: it would be so good
hannah: to be a vampire
hannah: of jizz
hannah: a jizz vampire
hannah: a jizzpire
hannah: of your jizz
hannah: you'd eat so many dicks
hannah: or at least i would
hannah: eat dicks
hannah: all the time
hannah: a contant flow of dicks
hannah: i'd need to feed on
hannah: and i can only go out at night
hannah: and i'd hate on crosses and garlic
hannah: because garlic makes jizz taste funny
hannah: and im only in it for the quiality jizz
hannah: well
hannah: not totally true
hannah: as a jizzpire i'd take probably any jizz
hannah: quantity, really
hannah: quantity being the key here
me: very interesting
hannah: thats just me
hannah: im hannah
hannah: and i love jizz
me: hannah "jizz-monger" fidell
hannah: something to that effect, yes
September 2008
7 posts
today's embarrassment (via text)
me: happy bday bud!
rob: thanks dorf but its tomorrow
me: fuck...um.....my b
Hi, my name is Turbine Yukon Palin. What's yours? →
dislike of the day
i hate bo. what’s more, i hate it when you’re in a crowded subway car with somebody who reaks of it. EVEN WORSE is when they are so close to you the scent of their slowly rotting flesh and decaying aura latch on to you. this happened on my way in to work today and i wanted to kill myself AND the bastard who soiled my odor. bo is my dislike of the day.
blood watch
today i met up with a friend of mine. for her sake, let us call her “cleopatra.”
so i met up with cleopatra in union square this afternoon. “hey cleopatra! how’s it going? i haven’t seen you in about a month! what’s shakin?” i say. no “hi dorf. i miss you. long time no see!” nothing of that sort. instead, here’s what i get as a...
August 2008
6 posts
typewriters rule. computers drool.
while at my parents’ house last week, i found something wicked cool in the attic. can you guess? i’ll give you a hint: it’s in the title of this post. a TYPEWRITER!! it may be the coolest thing i’ve ever lugged back from one of my visits. its electric, has a case, and is portable. so while you are quietly sitting at the cafe on your mac book pro…I’ll be sitting...
what's your favorite drink? ALCOHOL!!! (good for...
lovefoxxx is the new woman of my dreams. i saw css play at all points west the other day, and she melted my face off. there were puddles of molten skin polka dotted over the whole lawn. it was surprisingly gross but 110% worth it. the title of this post is a conversation she had onstage with one of her background dancers. she rocks.
http://www.myspace.com/canseidesersexy
the email i sent to kliman last night.....
so last night i was on the subway with lauren and stacy. we saw this girl sitting in the corner and at first i thought it was you. just as i was about to approach “you,” i stopped myself and realized “no…thats not rachael! maybe its her mysterious twin sister.” before i could turn to lauren and stacy to be like “yo, that girl looks like kliman, but isn’t...
i am dorf. hear me roar.
look out your window. has hell frozen over? are pigs flying? are old ladies eating babies while crawling backwards up downward escalators? if so, i screwed up and apologize. it’s all my fault. if not: HELLO BLOGOSPHERE! as you may or may not have surmised by now, i have started a blog. be on the look out for wicked cool stuff, awesome things, and other snarky junk treasures, all brought to...